stilllovingdisney:

flandusism:

"if you’re straight then why did you say she was hot"

yo i’m straight not blind

One time a nun at my school saw a hot guy and said “woah God did a nice job on that one” and we all looked at her like ??? and she goes “I’m allowed to look at the menu I just can’t order”

free-booty:

I don’t mean to interrupt people I just randomly remember things and get really excited I’m sorry

(Source: free-booty)

turkey-imported-from-maine:

firelorcl:

meladoodle:

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police

Stop setting yourself

on fire for someone who

stays to watch you burn.

― Haiku on Perspective 
  (via gothics)

hotelmario:

bobshit:

what are snails even trying to do

their best

sancedes:

When I find myself in times of trouble

britney spears comes to me

speaking words of wisdom

image

(Source: plumbingsdifferent)

krook:

innocent looking girls that are secretly kinky as fuck are girls worth living for

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